Of all the laws that I have studied in Engineering school and Aviation school, two laws are more applicable in life than the rest. One is by Sir Edward Murphy and it says, “If something can go wrong, it will go wrong” Allow me to do some mansplaining; This pilot cum engineer had observed that if he was to fly an aircraft that was not deemed ‘perfect to fly’, it would always fail from the exact issue he was worried about. I have observed that law in everything including cooking. The second law is by an Austrian physicist called Erwin Rudolf Josef Alexander Schrödinger. He said that if you put a cat in a box with a plate of poisoned food and sealed the box then left. If you came back after some time, there are 50/50 chances that the cat would be dead and/or alive. There is nothing Austrian about that observation but only if you are a layperson, the rest of us took 3 years to understand what he actually meant. It is also said that this is what made Albert Einstein to refute his theory and observations with the famous quote, ‘God does not play dice.’ Schrödinger further went ahead and said that the cat will be in two states at once; Dead and alive and the box will now be having a dead-alive cat. If you open the box to confirm if the cat is dead, then you have killed it. If you open the box to confirm if the cat did not die, then you have saved it from death. This is my favourite and I believe the most applicable in the modern day life.

If you don’t believe me, then you know that there comes a point in a woman’s life when she cannot ascertain whether she is a woman or a mother. While this might be clear to many of you I mean a mother must have a child, it is not clear to single mothers. Most women would want to be called mothers not because they have given birth to a baby or two but because they have a baby and the father is there and has influence. That is why most of them will leave the kid with their mothers and go to woo other men while competing under aged girls and teenagers for a man’s insatiable appetite. In 2016, I was crossing Landhies Road from Marikiti and happened to pass by four women. Being a simple boy from Western, I went ahead and uttered, ‘Habari yenu kina mama’. Whatever came out of those ladies was enough to pin this story to my brain. I received heavy words with Luo accents and men were there too, bashing me. But my memory cannot go without the words of that lady who said, ‘Umewahi kutuona na baba yako kwa kitanda?’ while tacking her left breast into her hot-pink bra with the nipple still glistering with saliva from the moist mouth of her baby. Anyway, I concluded that those ladies still wanted to prove that they are available for a man to take them home and introduce to his mother and above all the men who had fostered their kids were not eligible for their goodies anymore. ‘Hawatoshi mboga’ I cannot sugarcoat it anymore, they were single mothers.

Single mothers face a huge challenge and one of them is they are normally in a state where they are hot independent ladies and struggling independent women. They are in the market competing 18 year olds but they still have to show that in their struggles, they are performing better than other men. They will be wearing yoga pants going to the gym and punish lusty men with their hot but heavily filtered photos on social media but at the same time say that they have everything in control and therefore need no man. They will follow feminists and say words like “why do you buy a pig when all you need is a sausage?” but at the same time wear short dresses to church on Sunday. They will want to move to high end places and at the same time send messages to their poor suitors that they will be taking a ride to town and the guy should pay. You cannot say that they are confused and neither will they ever accept that but one thing is certain, when they hit 40 years, they start petting a lot of cats and dogs and miraculously start gaining interest in plastic toys. Loneliness kicks in but since they are in dual state, they will never accept it. They instead join feminist movements and start influencing young girls to become what they call independent.

In Digital electronics, there is a state where the output of a device cannot be determined by science or maths. Not even the designer is sure that it is a one or a zero. This state is always avoided because it is a sign of poor design. The same applies to single mothers. Single mothers are created or designed by men or rather, it is a man’s lack of responsibility and self-control that gives rise to a single mother. If men are born to guide provide and protect, just like me you might be wondering how comes we have men who are nothing but manure. All they do is make someone pregnant, disappear or at times just give up on a nagging woman. Yes, I know that after pathetic sex, there is nothing that puts off a man like a nagging woman but why would a man be irresponsible and date a woman that is nagging? Let alone impregnate her. Okay, there are those who will start saying that it might be an accident but why would you allow it to happen when science has given you all the options? Anyway, you cannot fathom with the mind of a man. While almost all men love sex and women know this, men are still able to put themselves in cocoons of pastors and priests and pretend to be holy till when they start saying that God has said that they should give out prayer panties and No One (picture me pointing out my index finger) is allowed to put it on without the assistance of the man of cloth.

You must have heard of the joke where two beautiful women asked for a man’s hand in marriage. One of them was a dirty Librarian and the other one was a clever and reformed prostitute but this man left both of them and went on to marry a woman with big buttocks. Starting to understand what a man wants in a woman could seem like the first step into mitigating the single mother crisis but that is a rabbit hole that even science cannot get out of. A man would say he loves a woman who knows the sheets but good in the streets too but that is not all. Men have brains but that is heavily influenced by testosterone. It is useless to start reasoning with a man. Men are responsible for all the trouble that single mothers are going through but correcting it is not in their agenda. Nevertheless, there is one thing that is proving to work. Men like submissive women who are able to accommodate their spontaneous nature. That is why a man would easily many a woman without a job or marry a woman who is uglier than her previous catches. There is nothing modern about this but it has always worked. If you think I am wrong, ask all married women.

Married women are the new heroes. They always climb up the ladder after earning points from the number of years they have stuck not been in marriage. Hats off to the new drivers of morality. Ask anyone that is married for more than 5 years and they will tell you that submission is key at times but being bossy at times is important. As far as I am concerned, a married woman can easily make a man sleep on an empty stomach if she says that he is a spendthrift but the same woman would never risk denying the man sex in the name of maintaining law and order in the family. She knows that this world is littered with single mothers and prettier, tighter girls looking for men. They know that being a Shrondinger’s cat is toxic to the whole family and is a trigger to a vicious cycle. Hail all married women!